Tag Archive for 'personal change'

Stress, anxiety, anger, and depression

Ribbonwood

Stress, anxiety, and depression are the order of the day for many. I always make a point of checking my own state of mind. Denial is not an option (it never was) nor is  anxiety, despair, anger, or fear. These are not places to live. They are emergency emotions.  If you spend any significant time in any of them I have to ask you to consider how you manage to do so? I mean, doesn’t it take an awful lot of energy!?

The fact is, such emotions don’t leave you in a state to be very creative or resourceful!

Of course, people do live in negative states, especially with all the current talk about the economy, not to mention the environment … as though we’ve collectively woken up to the fact we have a global environmental emergency on our hands. H-E-L-L-O … where have we been for the last several decades?

And people do live in negative emotional states like anxiety and helplessness because they’ve learned to do so.

Are they real? Of course. It’s always real. But whose reality does it represent? Where did you learn to be in that state and who or what has been reinforcing the idea that it’s a useful thing to be stresses out, bummed out, freaked out?

My point … and the reason I’m even writing this is that you have a whole lot more options than you may have imagined and it begins with your own ability to manage you own internal states, to change the words and pictures in you own mind. Because you can do that you know. It’s a whole lot easier than you think too!
http://www.manzanitavillage.org/retreats/nlp/

Two Kinds of Change

Change happens in one of two ways. Either you make it happen, or it happens to you. Either you live a life of your own choosing, or others choose for you.

Perhaps you are one of those rare people who fully accept their power to effect positive change — in their own life, and for the benefit of others. They base their life on the choices they make. They don’t spend time complaining or blaming others for what happens, and they don’t take much time out to explain or justify their actions. They trust their own judgment as well as the judgment of their team – those who they rely on to hold them accountable. They have a good sense of their own and others’ intrinsic worth.

There’s a motto here: “No complaining, blaming, explaining, or shaming!”

They also trust their own integrity, and so they become trustworthy to others. They don’t cultivate friendships based on mutual disaffection. They are not looking for reasons why bad things happen. They are looking for solutions and results.

If this seems simplistic then look at the lives of people who have truly made a difference in the world. Look at the lessons of history, or look at present day examples. Examine the lives of people like Dr. Martin Luther King, Archbishop Romero, Albert Schweitzer, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa. These people were not without their faults. What sets them apart from others was their vision for change, and their determination to act on that vision. Think of your own examples. Think of the people who have brought about social change. Fame is not the issue. The issue is whether they effected positive change in the lives of others. Don’t look for perfection. When we idealize others, all we are doing is creating a false yardstick with which to measure our own flaws.

Or are you one of those people who thinks that change is something that just happens based on the belief that your actions can’t have any lasting positive effect? If so you are in the majority. And you also probably blame circumstances, events, or other people for many of the difficulties you encounter.

This is not to deny the reality of history. It does not mean that we dismiss the reality of the systemic exploitation of human beings and of the resources of the planet. It simply challenges each one of us to pose the question, “How can I change this pattern of exploitation in the most effective way by refusing to see myself as a victim?”

How can I live by the motto: “No complaining, blaming, explaining, or shaming!”