Archive for the 'Life Coaching' Category

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Law of Distraction

Published in Life Coaching and Meditation. 7 Comments Tags: , , , .

lamborghini_murcielagoThe Secret triggered new interest in Law of Attraction teachings and perspectives. “Think the right thoughts and become a star,” is the way it goes. The trouble is that this misses several important steps. Which is one reason why I turned to Buddhism – years ago – when my father explained positive thinking to me as a way to get good grades at school. Somehow I had the idea that study was important too. Silly me!

Well, silly everybody if we think we can get a Lamborghini just by wishing, wanting, praying, or chanting for it. Well, actually the truth is, we can! AND we have to pay for it, learn to drive it, take care ot it. Like you have to study to get good grades, AND having a positive attitude will help. More than help, it’s essential!

So, law of attraction, and positive thinking is “essential but not sufficient” as they say in the language of statistics. You get what you expect, AND what you expect is very much based on what you do, how you prepare,how you act.

This is actually very much aligned with Buddhist teaching. Thought leads to action. And by the way, the Buddha never said that there was anything wrong with Lamborghinis either. But he did mention that is was worth checking the consequences of your actions. He never said that there was anything wrong with desire either. But he did suggest that it was worth choosing where you put your attention, and that if you don’t desire leads to distraction, confusion, regret, and a whole series of altogether useless internal activities.

.. “would you like to test-drive it?” asked the monk, handing me the keys with a smile..

continued

Published on October 11, 2008

30 Pressing Questions

Published in Life Coaching. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

“Imperfection acted on beats planned perfection,”

I keep hearing this, over and over in the past year or so, in different ways, from different people. Well, how about imperfection that’s still barely out of the planning stages? It is getting done, right?

Actually some of it is already done. The imperfection in question which, if I say so myself, I am really pleased with, is the first several modules in an e-class series called THE PRESSING QUESTIONS.

You can see the first one at ChoosePersonalFreedom.com and sign up for the series there too, or if you prefer you can sign up for a trial run of the first month for just $1.

I am learning that it really is possible to maintain integrity and stay congruent with my values; to keep doing what I do, even better than before; help a lot of people; and generate revenue on-line . . amazing imperfection!

The full series of e-classes is only $247 – on special offer. That’s seven months of training. And for those who follow through and do the full class and follow through with the exercises etc. that I will be offering … well, I thank you in advance. And … you are going to learn some amazing things!

It kicks off with …

… I was speaking with a colleague the other day, Elise Turen, who was saying how some people are afraid of ‘going deep’, afraid of questioning, of daring to challenge cherished assumptions.

She laughed and said, ” . . we live there . . . ” and laughed again. “We live deep!”

want to live deep? read more
ChoosePersonalFreedom.com

Published on September 8, 2008

Woodrat Reminiscences. Are you determined?

Published in Life Coaching. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

wood-rat-nestWhen we stripped off the old roof of our meditation hall we disturbed a colony of woodrats. Woodrats are also known as pack rats and are notorious in the American west for their habit of collecting vast mounds of debris to make nests that often serve for generations of rodents. We also discovered that woodrats are fond of rearranging libraries, gnawing though computer cables, and keeping us awake at night with compulsive nocturnal activities in the roof.

When the family finally scurried out of the meditation hall roof some of them took up residence in the library for a while-hence our discovery of their penchant for rearranging books. When we finally got them all outside a couple of weeks later they made themselves known by moving hardware and tools about in the workshop and removing small logs from the woodpile.

I started to trap them. Every morning I would drive my captive rodent down our long dirt road and release him or her in the brush by the the banks of a dry river bed. A much more suitable habitat for a woodrat, I thought.

When I released the third rat I had caught (though I am now wondering if it wasn’t perhaps the same rat, caught a third time) instead of running into the nearby brush, he ran around me, darted across fifty yards of open ground and jumped up into the underside of my car. Damn!

I drove as fast as I could back along the dirt road, checking my rear view mirror. Hoping that the road was bumpy enough for my stow away to jump ship. But I didn’t see him.

So I parked the car at the far end of our parking lot, and re-set the trap right next to my car. The next morning I encountered a very angry rodent, caught in the grill of the trap, and squeaking at me in no uncertain terms. He couldn’t get free and I was not willing to risk getting bitten.

So I drove him back down the road and left him on a slope by a rock, imagining that he would either extricate himself or become lunch for a raven or a coyote.

Feeling bad for his plight, and a little guilty I returned in the evening.wood-rat

I found that he was gone. Not only was he gone but the trap had been disassembled. Not only had the trap been disassembled, but the spring that closes the door was nowhere to be found. I mean nowhere! The door was lying a few feet away, but the spring, without which the whole thing was useless, had vanished. Apart from a few rocks, the ground was open for thirty yards all around. Not a sign of it. It had vanished along with my stubborn and irate little friend. Now I was re-evaluating my understanding of rodent intelligence, and reflecting on the value of furious determination.


Published on August 5, 2008

Two Kinds of Change

Published in Life Coaching. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Change happens in one of two ways. Either you make it happen, or it happens to you. Either you live a life of your own choosing, or others choose for you.

Perhaps you are one of those rare people who fully accept their power to effect positive change — in their own life, and for the benefit of others. They base their life on the choices they make. They don’t spend time complaining or blaming others for what happens, and they don’t take much time out to explain or justify their actions. They trust their own judgment as well as the judgment of their team – those who they rely on to hold them accountable. They have a good sense of their own and others’ intrinsic worth.

There’s a motto here: “No complaining, blaming, explaining, or shaming!”

They also trust their own integrity, and so they become trustworthy to others. They don’t cultivate friendships based on mutual disaffection. They are not looking for reasons why bad things happen. They are looking for solutions and results.

If this seems simplistic then look at the lives of people who have truly made a difference in the world. Look at the lessons of history, or look at present day examples. Examine the lives of people like Dr. Martin Luther King, Archbishop Romero, Albert Schweitzer, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa. These people were not without their faults. What sets them apart from others was their vision for change, and their determination to act on that vision. Think of your own examples. Think of the people who have brought about social change. Fame is not the issue. The issue is whether they effected positive change in the lives of others. Don’t look for perfection. When we idealize others, all we are doing is creating a false yardstick with which to measure our own flaws.

Or are you one of those people who thinks that change is something that just happens based on the belief that your actions can’t have any lasting positive effect? If so you are in the majority. And you also probably blame circumstances, events, or other people for many of the difficulties you encounter.

This is not to deny the reality of history. It does not mean that we dismiss the reality of the systemic exploitation of human beings and of the resources of the planet. It simply challenges each one of us to pose the question, “How can I change this pattern of exploitation in the most effective way by refusing to see myself as a victim?”

How can I live by the motto: “No complaining, blaming, explaining, or shaming!”

Published on July 30, 2008

Forward or Backward?

Published in Life Coaching. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Imagine having to reverse a car down the highway, and calculate the turns in the road based on where you had just been, and with a tiny mirror catch occasional glimpses of the road ahead. Wouldn’t that make driving very difficult?

People often understand meditation practice as a way of learning to live in the present moment. But living in the present moment does not mean that you cannot dream, imagine, or plan for the future.

Living in the present moment may not be a panacea for all your troubles!

Traditional psychotherapy has often been accused of dwelling too much on past causes. Meditation practice (specifically traditional buddhist practice) trains you to live in the present moment, and to create the inner flexibility needed to effect changes.

Our coaching model helps you brings past, present, and future together; to understand causes of the past, to be fully alive and present here and now AND to create and build a vision for your future, and USE the specific skills that can turn that vision it into reality.

To learn more go ahead and sign up for our “questions to effect change” series.
Click here

Published on May 2, 2008

Struggle means brighter colors and longer life

Published in Life Coaching. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Have you heard this quotation for Anais Nin?
“And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Probably you are familiar with the metaphor of the butterfly, emerging from the chrysalis ~ life emerging from what appears static and lifeless.

Some time ago some lepidopterists (that’s the name for those who study butterflies), were experimenting with the development of butterflies inside their cocoons. They even cut some out prematurely to see what would happen.

They learned that butterflies who had to struggle to free themselves from the cocoon had brighter colors, were healthier, and stronger, and lived longer than those who were cut free prematurely and did not have to experience that struggle.

Sometimes, when we feel stuck and frustrated, and life seem more difficult than it should be, we can remember that the process itself, whatever we’re going through, can strengthen us in ways we may never understand until much later.

Published on April 13, 2008

A paper clip worht $34,000

Published in Life Coaching. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

… or how I learned to ask for what I want

Maui. Billionaire Boot Camp. The last of six seminars I attended with Christopher Howard and his folks. I am now officially a graduate of The Fast Track to Success. Over the past few months I have also drawn deeply from the teaching of several people I might not have been open to a very short time ago.

What I have learned is that we each choose our lives. I say ‘learn’ as though such a thing was not already obvious. I mean REALLY learned on some deeper-than-before level. . . . that we can be a ’cause’ in our life, or we can be an ‘effect.’ In other words, we can remain stuck in existing conditions or we can ask, at ANY MOMENT, ‘what can I learn here?’ I say ‘choose’ because although some might say that things happen to us that we would never choose, we can always choose is how we respond. Some people are crushed by the same challenge that causes others to thrive and soar.

It’s as if the lessons that really matter can be learned over and over again, each time penetrating deeper, each time corresponding to our ability to challenge our own assumptions more and more. We CAN effect change in our lives, we CAN live with sustained awareness, we CAN be happy, we CAN feel essentially safe in the world. Joy is a natural state. Nothing new here! What is new is the idea that learning and living by these things does not have to be a struggle. Life is essentially fluid. “We live in constantly changing quantum sea of pure potentiality” is a phrase I’ve heard a lot recently.

Does that invalidate the hard realities of life in these times? Of course not. Does it dull us to contradiction and complexity? Quite the opposite! What it does do, for myself, is to help me recognize that I have a choice. I can feel oppressed (personally, emotionally) by what happens in my life, or I can simply ask, “What can I learn here?” Meaning, what can I learn here for my benefit and for the benefit of the work I do, which I believe to be valuable not only for myself but also for those who are my clients, students, colleagues, and friends.

THERE’S MORE. How can you turn a paperclip into $34,000 in less than an hour. I had heard of the man in Canada who traded up from a paperclip to house. The game we played was based on that.

I’ve won games before – relied on charm and cheek. This was different because it was real. Me, my team, and my phone. Amazing. I called a friend in San Francisco who offered me a couple of hours of his time as a financial consultant, worth $2200. Another friend traded these two hours of consulting for a lifetime membership of her network marketing consulting and leads site. She assumed I’d be around for the next seventy years and so the value worked out to around $34,000. Amazing, in less than an hour.

The next thing is to apply the same sort of attitudes and strategies on a daily basis. To just go for it!

Published on March 10, 2008